Diary: December 2017

31 December 2017, Winchester

J has to leave L’s New Year party shortly after midnight to pick up her boarding pass from her local pub. The landlord agreed to print it off for her before she heads to the airport for a holiday in Spain.

27 December 2017, Tenerife Sud airport

There are signs all over the place stating ‘Sin Bareras’, which I think is a declaration that Spain encourages disabled people to travel ‘without frontiers'. They are very good at making disabled people feel included.

23 December 2017, Arona Gran hotel, Los Cristianos, Tenerife

This little piggy went down chimneys.

Later, at restaurant near Granadilla, Tenerife, with L, M and D

22 December 2017, Plaza Virgen del Carmen, Los Cristianos, Tenerife

Las Galletas, later

21 December 2017, Tenerife

Three young women on our Teide By Night tour were talking about their plans for the next few days. One of them said she would finish work  tomorrow and then start drinking and not stop until Boxing Day. One of the others remarked that she would be "totally fannied" by then.

20 December 2017, Last Galletas, Tenerife

Saw E today. J said he looked "broken", and that as exactly the word that was in my mind."Lost" was the other one. G was not just his wife, but his best mate. E was thin, distracted and almost scared of himself.

17 December 2017, London

Strictly. I wanted Gemma to win. J said Alexandra was the best dancer, so deserved to win. When I wasn’t paying much attention, J sneakily used my six permitted BBC internet votes on Debbie. Joe won, which was good because he had started to peak at right time. I was roundly told off for saying Alexandra had “no personality”. And later I remembered the name of the excellent film I had seen Joe in many years ago, in which he delivered a class performance. It was called Small Faces.

*****

Met G from Spain in the Artillery Arms for a pub lunch, then back to our place for cheese and, yes, plenty more wine. Brexit was the big, unshakeable topic and G said he was surprised that his quite comfortable brothers, K and A, had voted LEAVE. I wondered afterwards whether this was part of a class restructuring, as both K and A are fairly well off and their children will likely benefit in a class shakedown in which the children of the middle class become a new UK ruling class after Brexit. 

16 December 2017, London

On my annual Christmas visit to NRU at the National Hospital in Queen Square yesterday, I bumped into A, the gangly long-suffering Irish ward manager who was in charge during my residence five years ago. I looked around the day room at the current group of patients and remarked casually to A that, “It is such a desperate time. All they want to do is go home.” A was not so sure. “Some of them,” he remarked.

*****

In Wallingford.

Rosie, age 4.5: “He hidden from me.”

Then: “He bited me.”

15 December 2017, London

I screwed up on the Secret Santa for J’s book group. I sent an email naming S as their recipient to TWO members. I did this on November 6. They only found out at their Christmas dinner and I have been forced to resign. J sent an email to everyone confirming my departure, and cheekily giving thanks that they had not had to sign a card and make a collection.

14 December 2017, London

‘It’s only thanks to the solid and energised support of Alabama’s black voters that the United States avoided what would have been a moment of global shame.’

Jonathan Freedland in the Guardian

13 December 2017, London

EVALUATION FORM
Mediation & Conflict Management
With Dave Walker Southwark Mediation Centre

Tuesday 12th December 2017

1. What did you think about the content of the workshop?
Good. It became very good in the second half when one of the members shared a real problem we could jointly analyse and use to apply the principles we had learned in the first half of the session, with the facilitator as our guide.

2. What did you think about the facilitator?

Very good. Easygoing, communicative and knowledgeable.

3. What did you find most useful about the workshop?
The importance of listening and not rushing to judge.

4. What did you find least useful about the workshop?

The handouts. A collection of separate A4 sheets is easy to store in a file, but also easily forgotten about. I would have preferred the essential information to have been packaged in a usable and portable way. I would like to be able to pull out and consult a small ‘Southwark Mediation Workbook’ on the bus.

5. Do you have any suggestion for improvement?

See 4 above. Plus more real conflict problems to work through.

6. Any other comments?
The room was freezing. The snacks were brilliant. The sharing was sincere.

7. Will you recommend this workshop to others?
Yes.

10 December 2017, London

Toff from Made in Chelsea won I’m A Celebrity...

9 December 2017, Sutton

At P’s for her birthday, S showed us his Christmas list for Santa. One of the items was “a 30cm lizard taiI I can attach above my but”.

8 December 2017, London

Donald Trump, president of the United States, has decided to relocate the US embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. This seemingly has the effect of making Jerusalem the capital of Israel. The problem is that Jerusalem is a split city and a disputed territory. It is a holy site for both Israelis and Palestinians, so in 'gifting’ it to one side over the other is an act of gross provocation and a threat to any ‘peace process’ that might exist. But what if the citizens of Jerusalem turned a negative into a positive and started work on a project to unite Jerusalem, making it a model city of the future where people of all faiths live together in cooperation and respect. On another note, someone has just been deconstructing William Blake’s poem ‘Jerusalem’ –  famously and stirringly set to music for many occasions – on BBC Radio 4’s ‘Thought for the Day’.

*****

The first phase of Brexit has been completed. It was derailed earlier in the week by the DUP, who thought they were being shafted by the border negotiations. I am becoming more and more convinced that Theresa May is playing the long game, hoping for an election victory in 2020. She has surrounded herself with idiots and vain self-promoters who make her look good when she pulls off a minor victory. If it ever emerged that she had actually plotted to provoke this DUP mini-drama, I would not be surprised.

7 December 2017, London

I think I must sometimes come across as being overly confident that I know what's best. Many years ago, out late in Camden and needing a taxi to take us back to Leyton, Jane and I got into an almighty row. A taxi stopped for us, but as we approached it I said, “Get in and sit down before you tell the driver we want to go to Leyton.” I practically barked it as an instruction. This is because I had heard that there was some rule stating that once into a taxi the driver cannot decline your destination request. Had we declared our destination before boarding the cab, I was sure the driver would say no can do. So my intention was to secure a quick drive home with no argument. I might as well have been talking to the lamp-post because Jane marched straight to the cabbie's window and said “Leyton, please.” The man shook his head and drove off. Several hours later we got home, neither of us in a good mood. The words WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO AS YOU'RE TOLD rang in my ears for days after.

I can be as stubborn as the next person, but I do normally make some rough calculation before stamping my feet. It looks like this: YOU BEING PIG-HEADED = YOU’RE SCREWED. Answer = back down. But sometimes even common sense is no use. Sometimes you run up against someone so pathologically stubborn and resistant that all reason and common sense is stood on its head.

Yesterday at the Guardian one teenager was especially talented at this. She was determined to not write a simple headline with a verb, but instead piss around with a photo caption for which she had not yet even selected a picture. In a faintly ridiculous parent-child standoff, we duelled with the computer’s mouse for who had the right to determine the priority of the next task. Me: headline. She: not the headline. I tried everything, including humiliation, I’m reluctant to admit. “Tell me,” I asked accusingly, “What is the story about? Who did what?” in a very snidey tone. She sighed impatiently, her pupil colleagues, plus teacher, watching with interest. I walked away. “Is this what it is really like?” the teacher asked. Yes, I told him, but in the real world a punch might well have been thrown by now.

6 December 2017, London

In the playground there are two muslim women playing football with a bunch of squealing tots in hi-viz jackets. One of them fancies herself as a star player - dribbling, kicking with both feet, etc.

5 December 2017, London

An article in the Guardian about the 2001 decriminalisation of drugs in Portugal got me thinking about drug users and social isolation. By 'referring’ drug misuse cases to healthcare experts rather than 'tackling’ the issue through the courts, isolated people are 'plugged back’ into civic society. This might not be what all of them want, but if genuine rehabilitation is what some really do want, this seems like a progressive first step.

1 December 2017, Brighton

One of those improbably balanced cranes has popped up in the distance. I do hope the building under construction does not end up obscuring our view of the power-station chimney.